Cuts

Many people ask me about my arm...
But noone asks me about my feelings.

Observer

I am an observer.
I have a very good feeling for subtle emotions between people, like when they're coming together - even before they recognize it.
Very seldomly I was wrong.
Maybe the "Aspergers" diagnosis is disproved by this fact, I totally think so.
However, as I am neither attractive, nor sociable, I know I will never be anything other than an observer.

Love

Some are told how hot they are,
some others have fun at a bar,

Or at a disco, in a club,
and others lifes - are just fucked up.

The pain is slowly getting deep,
but I dont cry or even weep,

I try to make it even more,
I feel like beaten to the floor.

I feel like it's what I deserve,
for using up the others nerves.

Love may be something to achieve,
But I will just make others leave.

I am just ugly - in and out,
It's nothing special thereabout.

Those who I like, I realize,
Won't get them - not in thousand tries.

Do I... ?

Do I need a therapy ?
I don't know if it's just me.

No disorder, not like that.
But all I'm sure - I'm looking bad.

My face is ugly, as I'm told.
It won't get better when I'm old.

My life is messed up to the top,
I often think "Just let it stop."

Too cowardly to do it now,
I often wish I could somehow.

These thoughts, I hid them for some years,
as I did always hide my tears.

Beauty

"True beauty lies in the eye of the beholder." -
They say.

Reality shows me otherwise -
Every fucking single day.

Tagträume

Sinnvoll muss das Leben sein.
Nur woher kommt der Sinn ?
Ich igel mich im Bettchen ein
und vegetier dahin.

Aus meiner Tasche glitzert es,
metallisch schöner Schein.
Mit einem weissen Plastikgriff,
Das muss wohl Liebe sein.

In Folie noch eingepackt,
befreie ich es schnell,
Im Leben hab ich eh verkackt,
doch leuchtet es nun hell.

Entspannung kommt von ganz allein,
von innen nun heraus,
Ich merke oft, ich hasse mich,
Und so leb ich es aus.

Tag in Berlin

Bett.
Aufstehn ?
Bett.
Frühstücken!
Bett.
Silbrig macht rot.
Bett.
Kippen kaufen!
Zocken!
Bett.
Handy.
Tag ?